When I became a Christian again, I read in the Bible about how we are supposed to love God. Now, this just seemed wierd to me. I mean, how do you love God? God, to me, seemed very abstract and not easy to grasp. How could I love that?
Knowing that it was the #1 top priority, according to Jesus, to love God - I decided to pray about it. I asked God to teach me, to show me how to love him.
Five to six years later....boy do I have some awesome retrospect! God answered that prayer in spades. Now, words will not do justice to my thoughts about, feelings for and relatationship with the Big Guy Upstairs. But here goes.
First of all, God ALWAYS answers my prayers. ALWAYS. Of course it is almost never the timing or way I would have imagined them to be answered. But over the years I have come to trust and believe, through experience, that if I pray about something and trust in Him for resolution, He will make it happen. From teeny, tiny things like asking for help finding something I'd lost - to planting in me a knowing about why I was at my grandmother's death bed - God always answers prayer.
Then there's the fact that the Creator of the universe, the intelligence that designed everything and knows the stars by name - is my best friend and the lover of my soul. That one just blows me away. To this day I endeavor to keep the right balance between awe and intimate love. It is a contradiction! I can talk with Jesus about the piddliest little things, and HE CARES! And yet he WAS before the world was created and WILL BE long after it's gone. That's a hard one to wrap my brain around, for sure.
Then there is my funky relationship with the bible. Being brought up feminist, I hed plenty of objections to the bible. Who is that Paul guy anyway? And no way could I go along with some of the things he said about women. Uh uh. But I prayed and asked Jesus how I could get closer to Him. The answer? Repeatedly? Time after time?
READ THE BIBLE
Ugh. I didn't want to do that. It was too big, too misogynist, to unfathonable. I resisted for a few years, but finally gave in. I figured if I was going to be real about this relationship with JC, I'd better at least try to follow His lead.
Well, blow me over with a feather! I found gems in there. The Holy Spirit taught me things I could use in my life. I would be fretting over something, then read the Scripture and BAM! There was my answer right in front of me. I can't tell you how many times this has happened. Do I understand everything I read? Of course not. Do I sometimes feel like saying, "Oh, I just can't go along with that"? Sure. But I have a different relationship with the Bible now. When I read it, I know there will be something for me. To consider and pray over. Sometimes I am comforted, deep inside where no one else can reach. Often I am convicted, "Uh oh, I need to change that about myself."
The unexplainable part of how I have come to love the Lord, is that He just did it in me. He made me love Him. I don't know exactly how it happened. But when I look at the amazing beauty of His creation, I love Him. When I see how He moves in other people's lives, I love Him. When my heart bursts with love and joy for my kids, I love Him. Can't pin it down to one day or one experience. It just happened!
Loving God is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am so grateful, because my life feels richer and deeper and has more love in it. Dont' get me wrong, I still have plenty of hard times, grumpy or sad days, and struggles. Those things don't go away. But I'm in love and loved by the Ultimate Power of the universe. The weight of the world isn't on my shoulders anymore.
He took it. And I love him for it.
Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question:
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
Matthew 22: 34 - 40 NIV
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