Like so many of us, I grew up with mostly false messages about beauty. And guess what? Not much has changed. A few days ago as I was driving with my eight year old daughter Rosie, we chatted about those false messages about how girls should look.
"Oh yeah," she deadpanned, "Tall, blond and skinny. Right?"
OK. She is eight. She is homeschooled. And already she knows this.
What keeps me from panicking is that she clearly recognizes that stuff for the hooey it is. We've had LOTS of talks about body image. My girl will probably stand about six feet tall when she's grown, has "big bones" like her mama, and owns a head of wild, curly, red hair. She'll never "blend in" with a crowd, if ya know what I mean. She has no possibility of meeting society's beauty standards.
I've tried to proactively debunk those artificial standards before they do harm, by teaching her that being lovely is not about the latest fashion, hairdo or evening being "tall, blonde and skinny." My hope and prayer is that both my daughters and many, many other young girls will know that true beauty isn't about image after all.
Beauty is about the condition of your heart.
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4Putting such a heavy emphasis on physical beauty is a worldly thing. As I've come to know and love Jesus better, I'm thinking that worldy things don't hold much weight with the Big Guy upstairs. There is a spiritual aspect to beauty that our culture is missing.
Jesus once rebuked his disciples for criticizing an act of beauty.
While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.
Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, "Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year's wages and the money given to the poor." And they rebuked her harshly.
"Leave her alone," said Jesus. "Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her." Mark 14: 3-9
Jesus defended what was seen through "wordly" eyes as indulgent and wasteful. He saw that she was doing a "beautiful thing" through spiritual eyes: honoring him, preparing him for what was to come, and annointing him for his burial. (BTW: Don't you love the way Jesus was always hanging out with lepers?)
It seems to me that true, glorious, lasting beauty comes from an intimate, loving relationship with God. The more we know and love the Creator of the universe, the more lovely we become. When we are kinder, more compassionate and loving towards others, our hair color , body size and clothes fade into insignifigance.
Looking your best is great. But when we emphasize image over heart, we can never be truly beautiful.
